Back to school scaries? Get the support you need.

Mixed Feelings

As teachers go back to school, the start-of-school scaries are real. Many of you were simultaneously mourning the summer break while trying to pack in those last relaxing moments or times with children. You also know that there are many tasks needed to start the year. That includes the preparation of your classroom, any reading you meant to do this summer, whether assigned by your administrator or you simply wanted to do to improve your teaching, lesson planning, fun ways to welcome students and introduce yourself to children and families, and more. With all of that, there is always some excitement as you start the new year. And worries as well. 

Source of Teacher Stress

Every teacher knows that each group of students that comes to the classroom presents new dynamics. Some years are harder than others. And this may be due to “good” challenges, like students who are quite bright and you need to differentiate lessons for them, or due to changing to a new grade that you have been wanting to try! But some of this stress is related to the challenging behaviors that we see at alarming levels in classrooms everywhere. Often, there may be a student, or a few, that, beyond some disruption or needing extra help, you find yourself in a conflictual or disconnected relationship with. And this can truly drain you and derail your teaching. When we at Mariposa Education teach courses, teachers share their stress—when one student hurts another, or when a child refuses to engage, or disrupts their teaching—and they feel frustrated when they cannot reach a child. 

Why Relationships Matter

We know that early relational health is highly linked to child outcomes such as health, school success, and more. When children have a quality relationship with an emotionally skilled adult, they build social-emotional resilience, even in the face of stress and adversity. It can be really hard to do, and the traditional methods that we try often fail. We need to understand the specific behaviors and responses those children need, so that they can change their trajectory.

Teachers Need Strong Relationships too

But here is the thing, teachers also need that. Teachers, of course, often love their subject matter, and they usually report that they love the moments when a student starts to read or discovers that they can do something, but what we hear the most is that they, too, benefit from relationships with students. They love the connections they make. Teachers show up for the smiles, the conversations, the feelings of trust. So, it’s imperative that students AND teachers feel satisfied in the teacher-student relationships, especially when it’s not so easy.

As I write this, I’m looking at a clay blue heart made for me by a student years ago. The fact that I gained the trust of this child new to school, and helped this child feel safe and comfortable, still brings me warmth and joy. That little clay heart reminds me every day why I do what I do. And every teacher has their clay heart, drawings, notes that remind them too. Chances are, some of those notes were hard-earned when a child may have shown up in distress. But they mean the most. 

While those challenging moments create anxiety—What will this year bring?—chances are you also have anticipation of the wonderful moments: the kids who connect to you, the moments of laughter, and the ways these children may change your life. 

How to Foster Restorative Relationships

What does that mean, and how does that happen? So many of the traditional approaches to challenging behaviors can actually wear away the very relationships that are needed to change behavior. It turns out that there are specific things that adults do in restorative relationships. And in our Mariposa courses, we teach those very skills to the adults. So that you can get back to the relationships that not only improve the learning and behavior of your students, but also fulfill you as a teacher as well. To be fulfilled as a teacher, you want this year to have the skills and language you need to respond in the ways that you know are effective, that build connection, lower stress, decrease challenging behaviors, and build the social-emotional resilience your children need for years to come.

Where to Start

It starts with understanding the “why” of challenging behavior so you can work smarter, not harder, this year. And then, with creating the connection you need for relationships that serve you and your students. We are offering our new self-paced course options for teachers at an introductory rate.