The Importance of the Journey to School

Whether you walk to school or the bus stop or drive your child to school, we all hope to have a pleasant start to the day together. We hope to set the tone so our child heads into school with confidence and we head off to our day feeling good too. But many of the things we do actually create the opposite effect. 

What Gets in the Way

For example, we remind our child of the many things that we want them to do when we cannot be there…”Turn in your permission form!” ,”Remember to ask your math teacher when you don’t understand so you can do the homework”, “Please eat your sandwich so you are not so hungry.” We do all of this in an attempt to protect and care for them, even when we are not there. And while our kids do need some reminding, chances are the reminders for things that are later in the day can create anxiety and stress for our child. They can’t do it right now…so...

When the Parent Child Relationship is Off Balance

In any parent child relationship, there is conflict. We know that by being the parent, we may make decisions our children don’t like, and often find ourselves the receivers of tantrums, outbursts, and blame. It isn’t always easy. But we also hope to enjoy moments of closeness, when we are the receivers of affection, shared stories and confidences, gratitude, care and deeds. Very often in the course of parenting, we might feel that the level of conflict is higher than the level of closeness. In other words things are off balance, and we know we want to change it, but feel stuck…

Whether its a toddler whose favorite word is “no” or a teenager who is more often in their room with the door closed than feels comfortable, and whether its just something you have felt since the argument you had this morning or its been going on all year, it feels off when the parent child relationship is off balance. You know...

So often, in our parenting courses, our parent coaching, and in my work as an administrator, parents come to talk about their children, and often when they are very worried. The parent wants to know what to say and do to buffer their child during a divorce, what to do when they are asked not to come back to a camp, how to handle their child’s behavior challenges that are driving others away, or how to help their child be heard and seen in their school or friendships…this is on top of all of the day to day conflicts over going to bed, meals, getting out the door. Sitting down with that parent to talk it through is always worth the time. Because the parent child relationship is powerful in its ability to build resilience. 

 Barriers to a successful parent child relationship

 A quality relationship with an emotionally skilled adult is the single most predictive factor for resilience. So the importance of the parent child relationship cannot be overstated....